Finding The Boss
by Laughingly The Lark
Summary: Goren needs a new portfolio.


Author: TheLaughingLark

Disclaimer: I don't own Law and Order: Criminal Intent, Robert Goren, Alexandra Eames, or the amazing portfolio of criminal incarcerating information (although as far as I know, I'm the only one to assign it with thoughts and feelings)

**Finding the Boss**

_Today, I'm bored. Normally just sitting here on the self of an expensive office supply store doesn't bother me much. After all, when you're a 'Deluxe Black Leather Special' the first part of your job is waiting for someone to buy you. Except today I'm kind of restless. I suppose there are worse fates than waiting months for someone to buy you. Like being damaged during shipping and thrown out or being bought by someone who forgets to use you or leaves you where their dog can chew on you, but I really want to get to work, to be useful and productive and helpful to my human, and sometimes that makes it really hard to wait for them to show up and give me my new start in life. _

_I just want to be all that I can be in life! I'm young, I'm leather, I'm well designed. I'm ready to begin my life as an important piece of equipment in someone's day to day life. Maybe I'll get an artist or a writer and carry their work with me as they search for a place in New York City that inspires them to open me up and begin a new Masterpiece. Maybe I'll have a business executive or a lawyer and safely guard their valuable documents to meetings or court. Maybe a politician will walk in and see me and I'll end up visiting the House of Representatives and the White House! Hey, a portfolio can dream… _

_Oh look, there come two possible employers now! Maybe one of them will be my new life. _The short blond woman in a nice dress suit is urging an equally well dressed man, who looks nearly twice her height, towards my isle. I straighten myself up to a handsome pose and double check than no dust has marred my beautiful black surface.

"Goren, you **_need_ **a new folder. That one is bursting at the seams and has dumped your files and notes for our case all over, your desk, my couch, and now the captains feet!"

"It's a portfolio, not a folder. And that was an accident."

"An accident that wouldn't have happened if you had replaced the 'portfolio' when it started warring out on you in the first place."

"It's just a little worn, and do you know how hard it is to find one that has all the right features?"

His hands are lovingly caressing the brown leather case in his hands. They're nice hands, I notice, big but gentle._ I wouldn't mind working with hands like that. _I look at the leather beneath them as he opens the other portfolio slightly to emphasize his point. A very similar make to mine, an older sister if you will._ She's really rather handsome but a little tired, quite full and the leather's a bit worn. Hmmm…obviously regularly used, but well cared for, it is quite a load of stuff to carry for the job, but he really does seem quite professional and thoughtful about where everything goes. All in all he's not a bad prospect._

His companion is unmoved by his excuses and picks up a folder a couple rows down from me._ A very simple design, not what he need at all. I'm sure I'm a much better candidate if she'd just come a little closer and notice me._

"That's why instead of going off somewhere to relax after being given half the day off for closing this case so quickly, we drove halfway across town to the same place you got that one to look for a new one."

_He sighs and begins to halfheartedly look around at the various types of folders around him. Apparently he knows she won't give in on this, but he doesn't seem very confident that a decent replacement can be found. Hey, over here! Try me! _

"Is there something I can help you with ?"

Marcy, the salesgirl is batting her eyelashes at my potential boss. _Normally I really like her, she's careful with the stock and good at selling us, but she's distracting my champion, the pretty pit-bull, from her quest to send me home with Goren of the large gentle hands._ She's raising an amused eyebrow at him while he stumbles over his words trying to answer Marcy's question. No wonder Marcy's attracted to him, she's a sucker for cute geeky guys.

"Uh…I'm looking for a leather portfolio. Like this one…"

He motions with the one in his hand. Marcy nods and turns on her 'confident, pleasant salesperson' look rather than the blushy smile she was wearing before.

"Are there any features in particular you wanted?"

"Uh, it needs to have a lot of storage space for lose papers and a notepad."

_Marcy moves up towards me and but picks up one of the brown ones in the stack across the isle from me. No, show him me! I'm perfect for him. _

"How about this one?"

She moves towards him to let him look it over, but he seems a bit uncomfortable with having someone in his personal space. He tucks the old one under his arm and takes it from her. A slight frown forms on his face as he looks it over._ Maybe there's hope for me yet... Unless that's just his thinking face… _

"I don't think so… the slots to put the papers in are a little too narrow and the pockets aren't the right size."

_I'm so distracted by the drama next to me as Marcy assures him that together they'll find just the right one for him that I don't notice the pretty blond lady edge around them until suddenly she's picking me up. Oh, she's got nice hands too… Small and soft and carefully examining me as she double checks me for the problems her friend had with my sibling. I do my best to look reputable, but before I can see on her face whether I passed muster, she's moving towards the gentle giant. _

"Try this one, Goren."

_For a guy that doesn't seem to want to be touching people, she's practically pressed up against his back to hand me to him from behind him, but he doesn't seem to mind having her so close to him as he takes me from her. Maybe he's used to having her touching him, although they don't seem to be dating or anything from what I can tell. But then she's probably not the clingy girlfriend type anyway. I really like her. I wonder whether I'll see her a lot for whatever he needs me for. I hope so. _

_He turns around to face her and hands her the old portfolio before he really looks at me. But what a look it was. He stared at me so steadily and thoroughly as he flipped me open that I suddenly felt like a cheap plastic binder, instead of a ninety-five dollar portfolio. Then he began running his hands over me and exploring my pockets and pouches, my sleeves and notepad, my bindings and cover. I suddenly understood a conversation I'd heard a few weeks ago when a couple women came in complaining about why they disliked full physicals. Marcy begins to shift a little uncomfortably, but the lady (I wish he'd say her name so I'd know it) just watches him as if she knew he'd do this, maybe she did. _

_His hands stop and he just considers me for what seems like forever. Then finally his face changes, he's made his conclusion. If I could breth I'd be holding my breath. Did I pass? He looks at the short woman in front of him. She asks him what I've been dying to know since he first turned that enormous concentration on me._

"So, what do you think, big guy?"

"Not bad. I suppose it'll do."

_It takes me a minute to realize what that means. Then I'm estatic. He's going to keep me. He's going to keep me! I'm going to be… Oh wait a minute, what is he? I never did figure out what he did for a living. Hey boss! What do we do? What's my job? Boss?_

"Lets go buy it then and get out of here, Partner. You owe me a margarita."

_Partner? Cool! I get to look at the gorgeous blond everyday!_

"Yes, Ma'am."

We're on our way out the door, with me in a plastic bag, nestled with my new marching orders or a receipt as most people call them, before either of them speak again.

"Hey, Eames." the boss asks.

"Yes Bobby?"

"Thanks."

"You're welcome Detective. Now, let's go get those drinks before we get called in on another case!"

_Detective? **Oh!** They're cops! Wow! I work for the police. What does that make me? Detective Bobby Goren's Portfolio. Heh. I'm cool with that. Hey Boss! When we get back from the bar can we get me ready for work tomorrow? Please! I can do the whole catching criminals thing. I'm Black Leather Special Deluxe Portfolio and I carry the papers that send criminals to jail. Oh yeah! I can get **used** to this. _

The End

_And the beginning of a beautiful partnership_


End file.
